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kayla garelick daydreaming arts kaylagarelick@mac.com http://daydreamingarts.blogspot.com/

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Open Studio

Come to Open Studio 2008 Saturday and Sunday October 11th and 12th (11am - 6pm)!!
2169 20th Avenue, San Francisco, Ca.

daydreaming arts is proud to be able to participate in ArtSpan's SF Open Studios after kayla's incredible year of recovery from her bone marrow transplant and renewed creativity!

Come see kayla's All New Art invoking bold, vivid life or peaceful serenity, a look at details of our world reinterpreted through kayla's personal vision. This year kayla all new work includes 13 full sized prints, framed up to 26" x 32"; several all new mixed media found object pieces; and a growing collection of wearable art. Many of kayla's original collection will be on display, as well as work that has yet to be framed and works in progress.

This year's Open Studio is a celebration of Life and Health. In keeping with that theme daydreaming arts is sponsoring free massages to all visitors on Saturday by Sarah who just completed her massage certificate.

On Sunday there will be Musical Entertainment by Morey and from 4-6 we will finish with a gathering of old time-blue-grass-folk musicians answering our open call to jam.

Also on Sunday from 1-3 kayla will demonstrate several of her artistic processes including hands on opportunities to work with the Lensbaby, Photoshop, silk printing and more.

This year Sarah has found her ability to help others through massage has been satisfying and stimulating. On her way to a career as a massage therapist, which can support all her creative endeavors, daydreaming arts is proud to sponsor her debut!

Morey has pursued his interest in music by regularly getting together with various Bay Area musicians. It's so inspiring to be part of such a talented family creating a joyful environment for me to heal and create in!

So it's fully fitting that they should help celebrate my new art. Please come and be a part of this delightful family growth. (Avi is off at college but was home for part of the summer learning to play the banjo and doing my heavy lifting so he contributed to the flow too!)

thanks,
kayla garelick
daydreaming arts
vist my new website at http://daydreamingarts.net
get directions at google: http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=2169+20th+ave+san+francisco&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=47.215051,83.320312&ie=UTF8&z=16&iwloc=addr

For the fun of it

My husband is a very talented musician. He often plays with a group at a local coffee house and he goes to jam sessions locally. this gives him a great deal of pleasure. He practices various instruments every night. Once in a while he plays in public with his case out for tips. Here in San Francisco, the tips are not as good as they are when he did this in NYC. As a result he usually comes home a little grumpy.

This reminded me of how my attitude toward my work changed as i sought approval in the form of purchases. Right after my chemo for AML six years ago i started working on my art every chance i got. i made tons of art and had an open studio or two. I was hit hard by the infrequent sales. I continued to show and found more and more opportunities for my art to be displayed in public places. But, except for the show at the Juvi Hall of Detention, I had stopped doing it for the fun of sharing my work. I was measuring my worth through my low sales!

When i was diagnosed with a new cancer last year i realized that the pursuit of money had taken all the fun out of my art. I started down that road by wanting to offset the cost of materials. At one point i allowed myself to feel good if the sales balanced cost of the site for a street fair. After the cancer diagnosis i could see the damage but not the root of the problem.

I realized that my initial idea after the AML had been to communicate my love for the natural world and the ideas that came to me while experiencing it. And i saw that i had gotten terribly stressed out trying to get positive feedback in a commercial way. I would even discount a complement because the person didn't actually buy something.

So my husband's attitude toward his music playing help clarify this for me. When he jammed with like minded folks he had a great time and felt satisfied by the experience of sharing and interacting with others. I've always gotten alot out of the process of taking and making photos but the sharing and interacting has not been as fun as it should be because i've not found the open and generous heart that my husband has when he jams. Instead I've got my case open, looking for tips and coming home grumpy!

I hope that as i start getting back out there that i can remember the purpose of hanging my art for others to see is to share, and to effect others with my vision. I turn to the feelings of generously and compassion, reaching out to give to the kids detained at Juvi Hall when i did my one woman show there last year. It was an incredible experience to choose the most colorful images i had of San Francisco plants and so on and call it The Colors of San Francisco for these kids who had lost touch with loving the world around them. The feed back was nothing but positive and i never expected a sale. the best show of the year.

That's where i need to remember to be: out there with an open heart!

Is it attachment or motivation?

Five years ago i had aggressive chemo for AML and was confined to one hospital room during treatment. the first round was 30 days, the second a bit longer and the last stay was 45 days. throughout each stay i longed to go outside. Morey brought me books about the high country and pictures of the great outdoors. Mom read to me from a travel book where a fellow wandered throughout Kansas on foot.

My longing became one of my motivations for getting better. (my family and art were others.) it combined with memories of the joys of hiking and camping, and my renewed desire to create art and share it.

Likewise the restrictions on fresh fruits and veggies, created a longing to be strong enough to enjoy these normal everyday pleasures.

the restrictions kept me healthy by keeping me safe from germs, fungus and viruses, but also served to deepen my appreciation of a healthy life. this longing was part of my fight, i longed for green grass between my toes more than i longed to lay peacefully in God's embrace.

i'm wondering about this longing as a positive motivation in contrast to longing which is unhealthy, little green monsters of envy, disruptive attachment. what is the difference. how do i know when my heart pulls me toward the light or toward the dark when i don't know what direction i am facing?

according to  Pema Chodron who has written some wonderful books like "the places that scare you," the difference between positive motivation and negative attachment or desire is completely discernible by us mortal. Each of us is capable of listening to our heart. staying with the longing long enough to determine it's true nature and weather it's positive or negative.

when i first read this about three or four years ago i felt betrayed because i wanted a clear cut answer! but after all the work i've been doing getting in touch with the base of many of my obsessions, i feel that i too can tell the difference. for me one clue is listening to my body. if my jaw is tense, even a fraction, if there are butterflies in my stomach, then it's likely a little green monster is near.

i also listen to the child's voice in me. is she resentful? feeling cheated or deprived? or is she feeling joyful or sweet satisfaction when imagining reaching the goal?

i think i can react either way to the same situation. locked away from nature i could be an angry and resentful child counting the days, dreaming of breaking the rules. or i could be a joyful child imagining the freedom to run on the beach, reaching into physical memories of fun in the sun to create a moment of imagined pleasure. which amounts to pleasure when you are stuck in a hospital bed!

Sometimes i can even change the course of this. if i feel the physical tension, heard the resentful child and i can sit with it long enough to really acknowldge it, to feel the source, the base of fear, and sooth that by thinking how safe and loved i am now, then sometimes i can change my reaction overall.

so now when i think of being deprived fresh fruit and lightly steamed greans i think how comforting the over cook veggies of the 50s were, how comforting a baked apple can be (even if' it's "baked" in the microwave! while still seeing the raw food as a reward down the road for when i'm health again.

peace
kayla