the daydreaming times

Yosemite 2008

Daydreamer — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:53:54 GMT

This year Morey is not able to come to Yosemite with us. he and i will need to take our own separate vacation in 2009. Tomorrow morning, in the pre dawn i plan to pour my big kids into the back of the car and get a jump on the traffic across the valley to Yosemite. this year we are staying at Wawona Inn where we've never stayed before. It's not in the valley, but nearer the southern entrance. It's in the midst of the big red woods called Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias.

It will be a break in time for my new camera. Unfortunately my old set up was stolen, and insurance is not covering everything, so i bought the bear minimum to get back to work.

I'm excited to be going to an all new setting with an all new camera. being pushed to the edge of comfort always results in creative work. I bought another digital Rebel because i loved my old one so much. Of course it's changed over the years so i have alot to learn. I also got a new lensbaby. this one is called "the composer" it tilts and rotates more on a ball set up than bellows and the focus is like a regular lens. so we'll see how fun it is to use.

We get back Thursday night so i might be able to post some new images Friday.

creating art

Daydreamer — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:05:46 GMT

After the big push to get so much art ready for open studios you might think i would be ready for a break. but no, i'm dieing to get back to work. organizing my studio is inspiring because i see all the great things i've collected toward the 30 or so projects i have in my head.

I've uploaded 'flame" also know as "dragon" which is a briliianf image from Monterey in the dark days of Febuary!

thanks for coming

Daydreamer — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:50:13 GMT

thanks to everyone who came to the open studio this weekend. thanks to my dedicated daughter for all the massages and to Meryl for being the first to arrive again! thanks to all the folks who came and jammed with Morey, so much music all day Sunday! thanks to that lady who comes every year, i don't know your name but i love your commitment to local artists, and to everyone else who asked questions and peered through the camera to see the effect of the lensbaby etc etc.

it was a great time, tho now i'm exhausted!

Open Studio

Daydreamer — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:32:28 GMT

Come to Open Studio 2008 Saturday and Sunday October 11th and 12th (11am - 6pm)!!
2169 20th Avenue, San Francisco, Ca.

daydreaming arts is proud to be able to participate in ArtSpan's SF Open Studios after kayla's incredible year of recovery from her bone marrow transplant and renewed creativity!

Come see kayla's All New Art invoking bold, vivid life or peaceful serenity, a look at details of our world reinterpreted through kayla's personal vision. This year kayla all new work includes 13 full sized prints, framed up to 26" x 32"; several all new mixed media found object pieces; and a growing collection of wearable art. Many of kayla's original collection will be on display, as well as work that has yet to be framed and works in progress.

This year's Open Studio is a celebration of Life and Health. In keeping with that theme daydreaming arts is sponsoring free massages to all visitors on Saturday by Sarah who just completed her massage certificate.

On Sunday there will be Musical Entertainment by Morey and from 4-6 we will finish with a gathering of old time-blue-grass-folk musicians answering our open call to jam.

Also on Sunday from 1-3 kayla will demonstrate several of her artistic processes including hands on opportunities to work with the Lensbaby, Photoshop, silk printing and more.

This year Sarah has found her ability to help others through massage has been satisfying and stimulating. On her way to a career as a massage therapist, which can support all her creative endeavors, daydreaming arts is proud to sponsor her debut!

Morey has pursued his interest in music by regularly getting together with various Bay Area musicians. It's so inspiring to be part of such a talented family creating a joyful environment for me to heal and create in!

So it's fully fitting that they should help celebrate my new art. Please come and be a part of this delightful family growth. (Avi is off at college but was home for part of the summer learning to play the banjo and doing my heavy lifting so he contributed to the flow too!)

thanks,
kayla garelick
daydreaming arts
vist my new website at http://daydreamingarts.net
get directions at google: http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=2169+20th+ave+san+francisco&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=47.215051,83.320312&ie=UTF8&z=16&iwloc=addr

For the fun of it

Daydreamer — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:12:51 GMT

My husband is a very talented musician. He often plays with a group at a local coffee house and he goes to jam sessions locally. this gives him a great deal of pleasure. He practices various instruments every night. Once in a while he plays in public with his case out for tips. Here in San Francisco, the tips are not as good as they are when he did this in NYC. As a result he usually comes home a little grumpy.

This reminded me of how my attitude toward my work changed as i sought approval in the form of purchases. Right after my chemo for AML six years ago i started working on my art every chance i got. i made tons of art and had an open studio or two. I was hit hard by the infrequent sales. I continued to show and found more and more opportunities for my art to be displayed in public places. But, except for the show at the Juvi Hall of Detention, I had stopped doing it for the fun of sharing my work. I was measuring my worth through my low sales!

When i was diagnosed with a new cancer last year i realized that the pursuit of money had taken all the fun out of my art. I started down that road by wanting to offset the cost of materials. At one point i allowed myself to feel good if the sales balanced cost of the site for a street fair. After the cancer diagnosis i could see the damage but not the root of the problem.

I realized that my initial idea after the AML had been to communicate my love for the natural world and the ideas that came to me while experiencing it. And i saw that i had gotten terribly stressed out trying to get positive feedback in a commercial way. I would even discount a complement because the person didn't actually buy something.

So my husband's attitude toward his music playing help clarify this for me. When he jammed with like minded folks he had a great time and felt satisfied by the experience of sharing and interacting with others. I've always gotten alot out of the process of taking and making photos but the sharing and interacting has not been as fun as it should be because i've not found the open and generous heart that my husband has when he jams. Instead I've got my case open, looking for tips and coming home grumpy!

I hope that as i start getting back out there that i can remember the purpose of hanging my art for others to see is to share, and to effect others with my vision. I turn to the feelings of generously and compassion, reaching out to give to the kids detained at Juvi Hall when i did my one woman show there last year. It was an incredible experience to choose the most colorful images i had of San Francisco plants and so on and call it The Colors of San Francisco for these kids who had lost touch with loving the world around them. The feed back was nothing but positive and i never expected a sale. the best show of the year.

That's where i need to remember to be: out there with an open heart!

Is it attachment or motivation?

Daydreamer — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 21:58:20 GMT

Five years ago i had aggressive chemo for AML and was confined to one hospital room during treatment. the first round was 30 days, the second a bit longer and the last stay was 45 days. throughout each stay i longed to go outside. Morey brought me books about the high country and pictures of the great outdoors. Mom read to me from a travel book where a fellow wandered throughout Kansas on foot.

My longing became one of my motivations for getting better. (my family and art were others.) it combined with memories of the joys of hiking and camping, and my renewed desire to create art and share it.

Likewise the restrictions on fresh fruits and veggies, created a longing to be strong enough to enjoy these normal everyday pleasures.

the restrictions kept me healthy by keeping me safe from germs, fungus and viruses, but also served to deepen my appreciation of a healthy life. this longing was part of my fight, i longed for green grass between my toes more than i longed to lay peacefully in God's embrace.

i'm wondering about this longing as a positive motivation in contrast to longing which is unhealthy, little green monsters of envy, disruptive attachment. what is the difference. how do i know when my heart pulls me toward the light or toward the dark when i don't know what direction i am facing?

according to Pema Chodron who has written some wonderful books like "the places that scare you," the difference between positive motivation and negative attachment or desire is completely discernible by us mortal. Each of us is capable of listening to our heart. staying with the longing long enough to determine it's true nature and weather it's positive or negative.

when i first read this about three or four years ago i felt betrayed because i wanted a clear cut answer! but after all the work i've been doing getting in touch with the base of many of my obsessions, i feel that i too can tell the difference. for me one clue is listening to my body. if my jaw is tense, even a fraction, if there are butterflies in my stomach, then it's likely a little green monster is near.

i also listen to the child's voice in me. is she resentful? feeling cheated or deprived? or is she feeling joyful or sweet satisfaction when imagining reaching the goal?

i think i can react either way to the same situation. locked away from nature i could be an angry and resentful child counting the days, dreaming of breaking the rules. or i could be a joyful child imagining the freedom to run on the beach, reaching into physical memories of fun in the sun to create a moment of imagined pleasure. which amounts to pleasure when you are stuck in a hospital bed!

Sometimes i can even change the course of this. if i feel the physical tension, heard the resentful child and i can sit with it long enough to really acknowldge it, to feel the source, the base of fear, and sooth that by thinking how safe and loved i am now, then sometimes i can change my reaction overall.

so now when i think of being deprived fresh fruit and lightly steamed greans i think how comforting the over cook veggies of the 50s were, how comforting a baked apple can be (even if' it's "baked" in the microwave! while still seeing the raw food as a reward down the road for when i'm health again.

peace
kayla

Walking on Ocean Beach

Daydreamer — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:01:06 GMT

I often walk on Ocean Beach here in San francisco to stay in shape and to treat myself spiritually. I connect to the vastness of existence being by the ocean and the apparent freedom of the playful dolphins, daring surfers and soaring birds lifts my spirits and fills me with hope.

But yesterday was different.

Yesterday I became immensely sad when i was confronted with a oiled sea bird helpless on the beach. harassed by crows and unleashed dogs. its feathers were completely covered in oil, and it could barely move. when i walked within the distance that would usually cause a bird to move away it merely opened its mouth and gasped! I don't think it could even speak.

I moved further away so as not to antagonize it further and allowed myself to fall apart a bit. I cried as i watched the animals harass the bird. I wanted to be able to rescue it but i knew i didn't know how and i'd only hurt it more.

I wanted to rush home and find the agency that saves these birds, but i felt saddled by my own health needs. I was due for a blood draw so i went off to Kaiser and dealt with all the parking, waiting etc issues.

When i got home i'm ashamed to say i forgot for a bit and it wasn't until i noticed that my feet were covered in oil that i remembered what i'd seen. As i scrubbed the foul oil off my feet (which was not yielding to soap!) i realized that this meant that Ocean beach was fouled with an oil slick. I had thought that the bird had somehow arrived a ocean beach after being oiled in the bay where the so called small spill was supposed to be localized.

So i went online and checked the chronicle site which did have an update indicating that the spill was bigger than originally thought and that there was wide spread threat to our eco system.

I e-mailed the reported my late observations and wondered how bad this was going to be.

this morning the reporter had another article on the impact of this spill, even more extensive than they'd thought early yesterday. It's fouling the farlon islands! all i can do is grieve.

I grieve for the environment.

And i grieve self centeredly for myself because i'm too sick to do anything to help! can it be true that i'm this ineffective? when i was young i was too young to do anything about exxon valdez spill in Alaska. I swore that when i was a free agent adult type person that i'd participate in clean ups of this sort.

I became a lawyer to make a difference, i became a teacher to make a difference, but i never did a single beach clean up. and now i'm too sick to participate in one in my own backyard.

How ironic that my cancer was likely kicked off by the solvents that are part of the nasty petroleum fuels that foul our earth.

People have said that my art is part of the solution. that might be true if it were seen by people and inspired them to action. but this is not so. it still hides, after all these years. now not because i'm too shy to distribute it, but because i'm too damn tiered to distribute it!

so today i'll take my camera to the beach and see what there is to see, what i can capture with my camera. see if that's how i help.

Weekend Away

Daydreamer — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:01:22 GMT

Last weekend my husband and i took a weekend away. we went up the coast to the russian river area. we stayed the first night at an inn at the mouth of the russian river within view and earshot (important for me) of the pounding surf. The inn had a first rate restaurant where we ate by candle light at a window seat.
The room was under the dinning room with a great view from the sliding glass window to the deck. Of course it was storming so we didn't spend much time on the deck. Morey played music and i drew with pen and ink. it's been a while so it was very engrossing. all that i needed to calm my spirit.
The next night we stayed near a small state preserve of a redwood forest. the inn was unique in attempting to create a tropical spa feel in this river town tourist trap! The room was simple with mixed asian themes. a fantastic show and a DVD player. So we rented a movie at Safeway and cuddled in our romantic tropical paradise.
In the morning the early morning fall light played on the tropical plants next to the closed for the season spa.
i was glad i brought my camera so i captured the colors playing in the fall light.
After breakfast we drove through the redwoods we'd walked through the day before, till we rose above them into field and wild oak. the sun was so bright and the day warm. We walked through a remote campsite. I really want to go back to the camp site as all the tourist trap feel was gone there!
so it was a weekend of renewal. of course a bunch of stuff also went wrong but that's OK.
kayla

Open Studio & Open Rehearsal

Daydreamer — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:22:08 GMT

Sunday was the second day of Open Studio & it included an Open Rehearsal! My husband Morey has been playing with a wonderful artist: Lis. She plays local gigs and when she's playing with a small acoustic group my husband sometimes joins in. they have a gig tonight:
Oct 17, 2007; WomenROCK Showcase Bazaar Cafe, 5927 California Street, between 21st & 22nd Avenues, San Francisco, CA at 7:00 pm. check out her music on her website: http://www.aoedemuse.com/

So my open studio was serenaded! I had many visitors and a few more sales. I sold a scarf! which is special because i put so much into learning how to make them and creating finished scarves. I got the silk already hemmed from darmah (sp?) in marin. to me the scarves are just the right size for a head scarf or neck scarf. for my mom they were too short so a while back she bought two and sewed them together! I should have more customers like her!

But best of all was the mood through out the day. people who came to visit were genuinely interested in my process and only a few folks made me feel really nervous. I don't really work on selling my work, and i suppose that i should if i want to be a financial success. but right now that's not my goal. I just wanted to enjoy the people and feel how they were effected by my work.

so it was a lovely success.

Open Studio

Daydreamer — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 16:25:21 GMT

Yesterday was the first day of the two day marathon called Open Studios.

It was a great day! The weather was fine and the mood uplifted as everyone seemed relieved that Friday's storm was not the beginning of winter!

I enjoyed talking to folks about my experiments, my works in progress and the ways that i stretch myself. Folks were quite interested in my "tea table" made from a discarded dining room table leaf, handmade paper, found beach objects, encaustic beeswax and a small print of my pods in the rain image printed on silk.

Claudia and friends were the first to arrive, as she was last year! She and I talked about the process of becoming a Bone Marrow Donor. It's sorta scary for her but she's going to do it anyway because her blood is free of a virus that's often in health blood but can't be tolerated for transplants.

The next visitors were some of Morey's friends from work, several groups of total strangers, my next door neighbor, and our friend John with his two little kids were the last visitors of the day. They really loved the tea table (kept grabbing the found objects in hopes of moving them, but the beeswax held!) and the 4x6 prints i had out. Kids are always attracted to them. It was really nice to see these kids, they are gorgeous and bright and very nice people. It's amazing how we are all so busy that even tho we live in The Sunset together we never seem to bring our families together.

Today is starting out cool and Foggy, the natural state in The Sunset. I'm heating up the house now so that when it's time to welcome the public i can open the front door to the damp.

Later today some of Morey's musical friends are coming by to have an "open rehearsal" on my open studio. They have a gig this Wednesday in a coffee house. This will certainly add to the atmosphere! Plus a friend is coming by to help me get past the intimidation factor of my new sewing machine. And finally, I'm hooking up my camera to my computer so people can see the lens baby in action.

I had come to fear this open studio but as it turns out it's been a wonderful chance to connect with people! thank you Heidi for the great advice!

One Door Opens as Another Closes

Daydreamer — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 03:18:33 GMT

Today I sent out notices for my open studio next weekend. It was sad because I am closing the door on the big marketing effort.

This will be my last event for a while because my energy is limited and i know that once i go for my bone marrow i will have almost no energy.

So i will spend my artistic time making art, not promoting it.

Marketing yourself and your art is s very big job and it wasn't until my disease had overtaken me that i realized how much energy it takes. And yes it gave back energy. I loved meeting other artists, going to openings and classes and seminars, watching for calls for art that fit what I'm doing and sending my art out to all those places. And I was getting accepted more and more, so it was fun and exciting. But it was drawing me away from my first love which is making the art, and it was really pulling me out of shape in terms of sharing art. I had to ask the sort of prices that artists ask in order to be taken seriously as an artist. and while my work was always worth the asking price, people could not always afford it.

So while my reputation was growing i was missing out on the spiritual connection that comes when you know someone has your work hanging in their home or office. A little piece of my view of the world is being viewed a whole new way by others viewing it!

So the door on excitement and possible success is closing for now, while the door to greater connection is opening up. I plan to share my art more, deeply discounting my work for the open studio and donating 10% to the leukemia society. after that i want to see about getting my work into cancer wards. I will start with where I'm going - in Stanford and where i was the first time, Kaiser Oakland. boy they could use some art over there! So that my art may be uplifting for others.

please come to the open studio if you are in the neighborhood!

Creative spirits

Daydreamer — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 20:43:23 GMT

Sometimes when i'm deep in the grove of creativity, i could swear i've been taken by creative spirits. The more I am honest with myself about this idea to more i kind of like it. At first I didn't like the idea cuz i thought that meant that i wasn't the creative one and that i might have to rely on something outside myself to be creative.
But that's not it at all!
instead i think that when i work and become focus on my art i open up something, allowing other parts of my spirit to be active.
recently my uncle - who's a wonderfully spiritual guy, introduced me to a very spiritual gal who describe our spirits as something larger than the spirit that works through this lifetime. I feel like my words are inadequate here but i will try. her words made me picture a huge amoeba with it's bulbous arms stretching in all directions. Each arm is the part of the spirt that accompanies us in each of our lifetimes. and normally that is all we are aware of.
But for a long time now i have felt that when i was doing creative things that i tapped into more. Sometimes i thought that i was tapping into a connection with God or Nature and maybe that's what it is. but maybe i'm also connecting to the larger, and therefor wiser, me. when i let more of my whole spirit manifest, i am connecting to an even larger whole, because my amoeba has a much closer connection to all the other amoebas out there and so i am more connected to them.

Spirtuality and Art

Daydreamer — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 00:09:05 GMT

For my new page on Health and Wellness i have been reviewing many videos on meditation etc., and i've notice that i am often drawn to those with wonderful visuals. Some videos really did not emphasize the visuals. They'd show a talking head or even the printed word flipping from page to page like a power point presentation. Some emphasized the spoken word; some music, but the ones i considered balanced were the ones that were engaging visually.

Browsing through these videos really made it clear to me that i really do communicate the spiritual aspect of nature in my photography. It's certainly what i wanted to do when i began working full time as an artist 4 years ago. (There's also the conflicting {perhaps not} goal of wanting to visually demonstrate some painful things that i've learned in this life but that's a different discussion). I was uplifted to realize that this is what people are responding to in my photography. I found myself thinking how i could easily use my images for a spiritual video - i suppose i'd get my uncle Karl or my son Avi to write the text, Morey or Jon to do the music, and Sarah to do the readings!

Since my original yearning to share my connection with the spiritual through the material world of nature, i began to have other less lofty yearnings. i began to yearn to show my work more often than a once a year open studio. This desire brought me into the world of art submissions and competition to be hung. I found many modes of sharing art increasingly difficult to manage physically - art fairs for example are really demanding physically! I just wanted to be represented by a gallery so they'd do all the work of marketing and hanging. but to get a gallery's attention there's a lot of ground work you have to do. having many shows under your belt is a big part of it - and sometimes having a client base that you bring with you. So more and more i wanted to sell not just to share my work.

I also wanted to sell my work in order to afford to buy new things - a distressingly material urge that has no end in sight - as we all know you can never have enough gizmos! I also continually attached my sense of worth as an artist to the idea of selling the work. The confirmation that my work was liked was contained in the exchange of money for the framed art. The more i showed the more despirate to be shown i felt! i was not practicing the art of non attachment!!

But under it all what i always wanted to do is bring joy, wonder, awe, and a sense of connecting to something bigger than our daily lives to others through visually capturing my relationship with the spiritual through nature. Now that i am sick again, with a diagnosis that may mean a shortened life, or a life with little time for my art, returning to this focus is essential. Focusing on the non material contribution of my art is part of understanding my unique gift as an artist and understanding my life's purpose. Turning away from the materialistic pull of wanting to sell my art and make money with my art so i can buy things is a huge release. i can find my joy knowing that others have received the intended gift in viewing my art! it's liberating to feel that i've already accomplished my goal by sharing the spiritual universe with others through my art.

I can see the way that my work effects others in their faces and eyes when they view my art. During the Hall of Flowers show for example, there was a fellow who totally fell in love with several of my works. he really wanted to buy the Yosemite Falls piece in particular, but he had enough experience as a newlywed to know that for this purchase he needed his wife's approval. He brought her back to my booth to see the work. I could see that she didn't connect with it the way he did. I never minded that he didn't buy because i was filled with gratification from what my work did for him.

During the same show i sold one of my wall hangings, and while i'm happy i sold it, it was no where near as gratifying as not selling the Yosemite shot because of the customer's relationship with the art. For him it was a trifling, like a souvenir. He not sure at first he wanted to pay my already deeply discounted price and walked away. When he returned to purchase it, he was impatient with my careful packaging and even the writing of the receipt.

Another time i had experienceed the Joy of someone acquiring my work. I'd donated a religious wall hanging to my place of worship for a raffle. the person who won the raffle actually jumped up and down and clapped that she'd won - she excitedly told me exactly where she planned to hang it in her appartment! now that was an exchange i am grateful to have taken part in!

For some people receiving a serous diagnosis that may seemingly cut short their life creates a sense of panic or deep sadness - you can't help but think however briefly of all the things you've not yet accomplished! So when i realized that i'd already accomplished all that i'd set out to do artistically and even exceeded my origanal yearning to share - i felt freed from the dark thoughts of the value of my time in this material world.

I still have sad thoughts about more personal aspects of my life like family, but now i'm released from the need to prove something to myself about the value of my work so i can better concentrate on the quality of my relationships with those i love. Thinling all this through why needed to take some time off, not just to rest but to get my head straight.

Adding a graphic with an e-mail

Daydreamer — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 03:32:02 GMT

kayla garelick daydreaming arts kaylagarelick@mac.com http://daydreamingarts.blogspot.com/

uploading graphics is quick and easy

Daydreamer — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 03:16:48 GMT

The important thing to remeber is to upload it first!
Then add it to the article or make a new graphics box. It may be easier to e-mail graphics as i did for the native succulent above this. O what is it you asK? ah come on! when's the last tim you fell asleep on your beach chair woke up hot confused and bleary eyed? see it yet?